Best Western Clocktower Inn Billings - Billings, Montana, 59101
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Secrets? Forget it, you’re not going to be able to keep most secrets secret at all.

Take the secrets flight attendants know that you, the passenger, do not. A Reddit thread called “What do the passengers not know?” exploded in December, and now has over 14,000 comments, confessions and spoilers, all guaranteed not to comfort you as your board your Airbus. So buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy flight...

1. “It is NOT the responsibility of flight attendants to lift your bag. There are multiple injuries caused from flight attendants lifting heavy bags to be friendly, and then they’re out of a job from months to a year, on average. If you pack it, you lift it. If it’s too heavy for you, it’s too heavy for us.”

2. “On trans-oceanic flights, there is a private cabin for crew members to get some sleep. No, you won’t be invited in for fun times. On some newer planes, there’s also a hold for people who died on the flight. No, you won’t be invited in for fun times either.”

3. “If a meal service is on offer, go for the kosher option so you know it was prepared that day.”

4. “Tray tables are rarely, if ever, sanitized, so don’t put food directly on them.”

5. “An airplane can fly with one engine, and if an engine catches fire during a flight, they have a means to extinguish it while in the air. And even if they can’t put out the fire, the engines are designed to burn and fall off instead of burning through the wing.”

6. “When we say ‘see you next time’ to certain passengers as they deplane after arrival, that’s our code word for ‘(obscenity), I hope you never fly with us again.’”

7. “Keep your shoes on. Keep. Your. Shoes. On. The floor is so filthy it’s ridiculous. And that isn’t water you are feeling.”

8. “It was fairly common for people to leave phones, tablets, wallets etc in seat pockets, which we would then find during security checks on turnaround. We can’t take them back to the base airport due to security, so they get handed over to a dispatcher with paperwork. We’ve just got to hope the dispatcher doesn’t pocket them.”

9. “We know what you’re doing in the bathroom. We can also easily open the locked doors from the outside.”

10. “You haven’t seen bad turbulence unless the overhead lockers have opened and you have bags falling down on you.”

11. “We have fire axes and extremely heavy emergency equipment on board, and we are to stop you from entering the cockpit ‘by any means necessary.’’’

12. “I still remember the order of priorities in a survival situation from the acronym Pilots Like Wet Fannies (Protection, Location, Water, Food).”

13. “In the event of a decompression, you only have a few seconds before your brain is starved by lack of oxygen. Get your oxygen mask on pronto.”

14. “The cargo hold often carries more than just your bags. Mail, light cargo and dead people are often flying with you.”

15. “A bag marked ‘fragile’ will get thrown just as hard as every other bag being quickly packed into the bin.”

16. “You won’t believe how many aircraft delays happen because of some weird or suspicious stuff packed. Sometimes all bags are off-loaded because of one smarty-pants.”

17. “The planes I work often come in with between 50 and 80 bags on them, and the target is fifteen minutes from when the plane parks to when the first bag hits the belt. There’s neither time nor space in the cargo hold to coddle each person’s bag they way they think it should be coddled.”

18. “You get drunk faster on board due to the air pressure, and we don’t tolerate drunken BS. You get offloaded and possibly blacklisted. If you’re clearly steaming before we’ve even taken off, then chances are you’re not going to be going anywhere. “

19. “Most US-based domestic FAs are only paid from the time the doors close and the plane pushes off until the plane lands and the door opens. So if it takes 45 minutes to get everyone on board and seated...no pay.”

20. “If I tell the pilot, ‘I don’t feel safe with the passenger in seat 35A,’ you can and most likely will be removed from the plane.”

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